A Personal Update

Hello all. In this post I'm pretty much just gonna talk about myself so don't mind it not fitting my theme.

I've been doing pretty good recently. Back down to about 112lbs right now, or BMI 16.4 for my height. This week was spring break for the school I work at but next week is spring break for my college. So nice to finally not need to eat for work. I clean a full building of nine 4th and 5th grade classrooms daily for work. It burns plenty of calories and has finally gotten me into shape but it's sooo tiring. It's really hot here in Hawai'i so if I don't eat lunch there's a big risk to faint from the heat and effort.

My family has been not so great. They pay no attention to my ED as they always have but their fighting is quite stressful. I have been struggling with alcohol abuse from all disruptions they make, they are the ones who provide it to me too. I really like being distracted from things like that and being drunk is the easiest distraction I have access to.

At college, I'm doing great. I had a performance this week for the International Education festival, where I played violin solo's with the ensemble. It was very enjoyable to perform for a real audience, I haven't done it since high school and I loved it. I've gotten so much better at dealing with my anxiety about people.

Unfortunately.... My self worth and confidence is still in direct proportion to how much weight I've lost. It is my primary method of coping with daily stresses, but I accepted that fact a long time ago.

Thanks if anyone actually cares about my personal life... just thought I'd reconnect to my blog better than just my tips and Ana posts.